Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?

My kids were appalled, how could he pull me over when I was going the same speed as all the traffic? The rabble rousing quieted as I rolled down my window and he asked if I knew what I'd done wrong.

Do certain answers guarantee a ticket and other answers guarantee a ride in the police car?

I guessed it was for speeding, admitted that I didn't know how fast I was going, then guessed at what the speed limit was. I basically sounded stupid. After he let me go anyway, we brainstormed worse answers to the question:

Is it because I've been drinking?

Was it the weaving?

I hardly tapped that car.

They didn't need those side mirrors.

It was the other guy's fault.

Because I'm a fugitive?

Because I don't have a license for these firearms?

I have a medical need for those drugs.

And (my favorite), Is it because I'm nude?

I don't think I know anyone who drives nude (but I'm not always aware of the speed limit, either), but right after the officer let us go, we saw a billboard that said, "Don't Drive Nude." This led to an interesting discussion with my children on the legalities of driving nude. You could get pulled over for that, I bet.